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Donald E. Westlake


SOMEBODY OWES ME MONEY

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?:
A Dortmunder Novel


361

WATCH YOUR BACK!
A Dortmunder Novel


THIEVES' DOZEN

THE ROAD TO RUIN

MONEY FOR NOTHING

PUT A LID ON IT

BAD NEWS:
A Dortmunder Novel


THE HOOK

MURDER AMONG CHILDREN

THE AX

THE BEST AMERICAN MYSTERY STORIES 2000

WAX APPLE

MONEY FOR NOTHING
Donald E. Westlake
Warner Books
Suspense
ISBN: 0446613789


MONEY FOR NOTHING is Donald E. Westlake's latest novel. It is not his greatest or his best, though with a career consisting of so many milestones, that particular bar is a stratospheric one. It is certainly a great book though and, just so no one thinks that The Master is being damned with faint praise here, it is absolutely not to be missed. I'll get the complaint out of the way early, though it's not even a complaint or a quibble…not really. I simply would have preferred the book to have a darker touch. I'm a fan of Westlake's lighter work, such as last year's PUT A LID ON IT and SMOKE, as well as novels he wrote back before I could even hold a pencil properly, or even knew what one was, but that I've only read recently. However, there was a gravitas missing in MONEY FOR NOTHING that I think would have been appropriate.

Now let's go the premise. The premise that drives the plot here is worth the price of admission and gravitas shmavitas; it is absolutely brilliant. You take your average schlemiel named Josh Redmont, who is just starting off on his own with more outflow than inflow and all of a sudden he gets a check for one thousand dollars in the mail, issued by "United States Agent." He tries to find out who "United States Agent" is but can't. He figures 'what the hey' and deposits the check. He gets a second check the following month --- and then another and another. Twelve thousand dollars a year! And the checks keep coming. And coming. The seasons change and the years go by. Things get better, inflow matches outflow and then surpasses it on a regular basis. Whereas, at one point, the thousand dollars a month was more often than not a lifesaver, it slowly becomes a nest egg. Redmont marries, he and the Mrs. have a little Redmont and still the checks keep coming, one thousand dollars a month. Money for nothing. And then...

Redmont is waiting for the ferry that takes him to the family cottage on Fire Island, when a stranger walks up to him, sits down next to him, smiles and says three things: 1) Hello. 2) I'm from United States Agent. 3) You are now active. Oh, and the stranger also hands him a passbook account book for a Cayman Islands Bank, a passbook that is in the name of JOSH REDMONT, reflecting a deposit and balance, as of the previous day, of forty-thousand dollars. At first, all the nice, generous stranger wants is a safe house. Oh, but that's only where it starts. It doesn't take Josh long to figure out where all of this is going but, when he finds out, he doesn't want any part of it. He also has no idea how he got involved in all of this or how he and his family are going to get out intact --- if they get out at all. And even worse, how is he going to explain it to his wife? He even wishes that he'd never cashed the checks, though, as we find out, it wouldn't have done him any good to refuse them. And besides, what would you have done with them?

But...but...here is what is so astounding. Westlake takes this premise, this idea of monthly money for nothing and makes it so perfectly plausible that you can't help but shake your head in wonder. I'll tell you this much: it's not a case of mistaken identity, not at all. Redmont is supposed to get those checks. As they used to say in the old Superman comic books, when something implausible would happen, "It's not a dream! Not an imaginary story!" No, this could happen to you. It would be highly unlikely, but it could happen.

So dark touch, light touch, whatever. Westlake once again demonstrates that, in the twilight of a brilliant career, he can continue to achieve the impossible while making it look easy.

   --- Reviewed by Joe Hartlaub

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