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Geoff Nicholson's new black comedy is a deliciously clever send-up of the worlds of academia, psychology, and publishing. The novel's protagonist is the handsome but utterly directionless Mike Smith. Smith meets Gregory Collins, a plump would-be novelist, while the two are undergraduates at Cambridge University. They both attend one of Dr. John Bentley's infamous "book burning parties," where attendees are asked to bring one book along and cast it into the flames --- a kind of "symbolic literary criticism." Collins burns his own failed first novel. Smith incinerates a book by Dr. John Bentley, much to the host's chagrin.
After graduation, Smith falls into a life of mind-numbing boredom. He catalogues rare books (and hates his job), lives in a shabby apartment and has a girlfriend he doesn't even like. Then one day his old Cambridge classmate comes into his workplace. Collins is about to publish his debut novel, The Wax Man, but he has a problem: he doesn't want his ugly face on the book jacket. He asks the photogenic Smith for a photograph (of himself) to be put on the book. Smith sees the request as a kind of joke and readily gives Collins a photo --- and soon forgets the whole episode.
Needless to say, complications arise. When Collins is asked to do a bookstore reading, he calls Smith and begs him to "fill in," to pretend to be Gregory Collins --- because people will expect the good-looking Gregory Collins of the book jacket, not the real, quite ugly Gregory Collins. Smith, seeing a chance for adventure in his deadly dull life, agrees to do the reading. After the reading, Smith (pretending to be Collins) is offered an unusual job: writer-in-residence at the Kincaid Clinic, an asylum for the mentally ill. Offering the job is the gorgeous Doctor Alicia Crowe. Smitten by Dr. Crowe and fed up with his old life cataloguing books, Smith accepts. The ground is set for some first-rate farce, which Nicholson delivers in abundance.
Smith's girlfriend starts dating the real Gregory Collins, while the "fake" Collins teaches creative writing to a bunch of mental patients. Anonymously writing thousands of pages, the patients refuse to sign their work. There are short stories involving sex and violence, intricate accounts of soccer matches, anagrams, and long lists of trivial facts. Smith thinks the writing is awful and he has a hard time keeping his insane students under control. One is a hippie girl who likes to dance naked. Another is a drunk who nods off in class. There's a thug named Anders, and a would-be poet named Byron (he even wears a cape). Meanwhile, Alicia Crowe sneaks into Smith's room at night and the two have wild sex, with her talking dirty and demanding that he do the same. These bedroom scenes between the gutter-mouthed Alicia and Smith, haplessly trying to play along, are particularly hilarious.
Dr. Kincaid, the head of the clinic, wants Smith to publish an anthology of the patients' writing. Smith calls the real Gregory Collins for help, and with the aid of Collins and Smith's ex-girlfriend (who works in publishing), an anthology called Disorders is published to rave reviews. Kincaid holds a book reading for Disorders at the asylum and invites the media and members of academia, but unfortunately for Smith, one of the people who shows up is Dr. John Bentley. Bentley knows who the real Gregory Collins is and threatens to expose Smith. Suffice it to say that things turn rather messy for the beleaguered Smith.
Nicholson's narrative is seamless, taking the reader along on a delightfully comical romp. Although the plot may seem absurd (this is literally a comedy of errors), Nicholson tells us just enough about the bored-stiff Smith to make the whole farcical thing seem believable. BEDLAM BURNING is a finely crafted and funny novel that keeps you guessing, and chuckling, until the very end. If you can imagine Woody Allen in the lead role of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, then you'll have a pretty accurate idea of what BEDLAM BURNING is all about.
--- Reviewed by Chuck Leddy
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