I LOVE YOU, MISS HUDDLESTON: And Other Inappropriate Longings of My Indiana Childhood
Philip Gulley
HarperOne
Memoir
ISBN: 9780060736590
“When I was twelve I toyed with the notion of becoming a carnie, of drifting from town to town, never bathing, letting my hair grow long, getting a tattoo, and learning to blow smoke rings.”
Thankfully, Philip Gulley did not become a carnie. Instead he is a Quaker pastor and a storyteller extraordinaire. His latest book is a clear reflection of the humor and fun he brings to ordinary happenings as he grew up in Danville, Indiana (the county seat of Hendricks County). Growing up in Danville, he encountered all the things that would mold him into the man he is today. Though his parents deliberately made life hard for him (they were way too strict, or so he says), and his friends frequently led him astray (he was totally innocent), he managed to rise above all these childhood pressures and bring us this delightful reminiscence.
Whether he was exploring the town with his brothers on his seatless bike pilfered from the local junkyard, or delivering newspapers, Gulley noticed everything with a writer’s eye. Each character is pictured vividly --- from the widows who ply him with cookies and cakes to do their manual labors, to his stern, lovable, hard-working parents. Like any boy, he did not want to do "chores" or work hard. But his father drove him into hard work: “He had a number of interesting theories about character development, most of them involving tedious labor and pointless suffering.” As a result, much of his childhood was spent mowing lawns, trimming hedges, delivering papers and packing groceries. Miraculously he not only survives, but lives to write about it all.
Among his best friends are Peanut (he was sort of round and smooth) and Suds (he knew absolutely everything about sex, having read those magazines at the Rexall Drug Store). Peanut was full of fantastic ideas and great suggestions: “Once Peanut made up his mind about something, the facts could not dissuade him.” At one point he even convinces everyone that there might be Civil War remnants buried in Gulley’s backyard. Hours of digging reveal only a rusted lawn mower blade that Peanut assures them is probably a sword.
When Gulley is nine years old, the family (which includes five children) moves to the rich side of town (his father's bug business is booming). It is a large frame house with no keys to the doors and a kitchen with a peeling ceiling. This is the home his parents will occupy for well over 30 years. The black and white pictures sprinkled throughout the book reflect happy faces, often against the backdrop of the big white house.
Gulley also sprinkles in his witty, insightful observations --- most of them funny, some of them poignant and all of them reflective of his love of family and life.
On original sin (he is raised a Catholic, but explorations lead him elsewhere):
“Original sin wasn't even original when you thought about it. I would sit in church and imagine much more innovative ways Adam could have sinned. He was in a garden with a naked woman, for crying out loud. What guy in his right mind would have taken time to talk with a snake and eat an apple? What a doofus Adam was.”
On cars (he inherited his older brother’s 1968 Volkswagen Beetle):
“Beetles were notoriously unreliable, hazardous, bitterly cold in winter, hot in summer, and had a knack for breaking down at the worst possible time in the worst possible place. The Beetle was Hitler's brainchild, for God's sakes, and assumed every nasty trait that man ever possessed, inflicting cruelty after cruelty upon its owners.”
On adolescence:
“…a good portion of my puberty was spent meditating on naked women…of course, now I know that nudity and lust are sins, causing all manner of problems, chief among them acne and blindness.”
And of course, there is Gulley’s unrequited love for his sex education teacher, the lovely Miss Huddleston. Driven to adore her and make a fool of himself trying to be with her, he sadly realizes “students and teachers being natural enemies, adversaries since time immemorial.” Their love is not to be. When Tim Hadley finds out and manages to make his life even more miserable, he acknowledges that Miss Huddleston, like other females in his life, is simply beyond him. But the experiences surrounding this whole scene obviously touch him for life --- and all to our benefit as we enjoy the wonderful antics.
In his introduction he notes: “It's been said that a miserable life makes for good writing. If that is so, my parents failed to groom me for this vocation. They did, however, prepare me for deep satisfaction.” This is the same satisfaction the reader feels finishing Gulley's delightful memoir. Anyone who has read his Harmony series or FRONT PORCH TALES will want to dive into this book. If this is an introduction to his body of work, prepare yourself for a delicious time.
--- Reviewed by Sally M. Tibbetts (stibbetts@maine207.org)
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